Tuesday, May 28, 2013


When I married Austin Fife,  I knew I was getting a very good man.  I knew a decent amount about him and what he stood for; his dreams and desires.  I knew I loved him and wanted to be with him forever.  


I had no idea what I was really getting.  

The man I married is more selfless, humble, powerful, and Christ-like than I ever could have dreamed.  

When Austin was 16 years old, he knew a girl who justified her boyfriend's terrible behavior because of the hard times he was facing.  Even as a teenager this confused him because he figured the best test of a person's character is hard times.  Anyone can be awesome when life is perfect.  

This last week has been "hard times."  The intense pressure of moving, becoming parents, and assuming a new role at work have been draining.  This is where true character is tested, and my husband has blown me away.  

Not many men could endure the stress of last week and still be alert and patient enough to come to the rescue when James and I are both crying inconsolably at 2 AM.

When everything goes wrong (three billion stores before finding an ethernet cord, a dead end dirt road while hauling the boat, etc.) he still comes home with a kiss for me and James and jokes about moldy towels, and old rangers.  

With a mile long "to do" list, empty stomach, and exhausted body he listens sincerely to me rave about James' first bath because he wishes he had been there.  

I guess being a dad is pretty hard work.  

I love you Austin Fife.

I'm so blessed to have you.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Baby James

I'm a mommy.

Suddenly I'm in awe of every woman who has ever "mothered," every father who has supported that mother, and every baby born into the world.  

After James was born, I slipped between the sheets and let my exhausted body sleep for the few hours before morning; I couldn't help but wonder how the world could possibly keep on turning.  People were getting up to go to work or school completely oblivious that the most mind-blowing, physically excruciating, sacred experience had just taken place.  

There is no right or wrong way to have a baby.  Every baby is different and every mother is different.  

My birth experience with James was perfect for me and him.  Austin was my painkiller.  My mom was an angel.  My midwives were masterful.  James is a blessing.  

It was not just me bringing James into the world.  Austin was my anchor, my coach, and my motivation.  

 We labored for 23 hours, from 3:30 AM on May 9th when we drove to the birthing center to 2:30 AM on May 10th in the early morning stillness when a tiny cry changed our lives forever.  James was 9lbs, 20.5 inches long and perfect in every way.

This is the adorable little birthing suite where our little man was born.  

After a long peaceful nap and a quick check up we were ready to take him home. 

James Luther Fife
Son of Austin and Tikla Fife
Born May 10th 2013

Saturday, May 4, 2013

At Peace

I'm feeling very content these days.

Pondering, wondering, talking to my baby, waiting for him to be all finished growing.

Have you ever sat and watched something really slow: like a plant, or a minute hand, or bread rising?  If you watch long enough you can see a flicker of progress.  Leave it alone for day or an hour and there is a huge change.  That's how my pregnancy has felt.  Sometimes I stay very still and pay attention.  It's as if I can feel him growing.  Then other times I get distracted and he doubles in size while I'm occupied.

For anyone wondering, we aren't planning on being induced as long as the baby is still okay.  And believe you me, he is just fine these days!  Little tornado in my tummy!  He sticks his little bottom out really far on the left side and then scoots all the way to the right side.  A little one-two punch action is going on in my lower belly, and his tiny heel jabs are so strong they catch me off guard sometimes.

I've been very blessed.

Austin still thinks I'm a smokin' babe.

My mom is in town and waiting on me hand and foot, as though the baby is already here.
My midwife and I see eye to eye on everything.

Life is very sweet right now.

Thank you everyone for your love!